Snot Fair

A quick glance at my weight loss log on the right makes it clear that life simply isn’t fair. But what am I doing wrong? I have all but eliminated sugar in my diet, I am using olive oil instead of butter, I am practicing portion control, and I am exercising. Hmmm…maybe not exercising enough, however.

If I graph my weight over the past week, it would look something like this:


Okay, I lied about portion control.

Exercise Discouraged

I am starting a stair-climbing routine here at work in order to 1) get off my ass and away from my desk and 2) burn some calories. I want to do this at least twice a day, climbing 40 flights from here on the 10th floor to the 30th floor and back down. I did it yesterday and it was pretty tough. So I thought, why not take the stairs in the morning as well, and perhaps at lunch? I could get in 120 flights a day, which would be quite respectable. The problem is, I actually do not know where the entrance to the stairs is from the lobby area. No problem after all, I think, I’ll just ask the security guard who sits at the command station on the second floor lobby. So that’s what I did this morning. Here’s how the conversation went:

Me: Hi. I’ve worked here for six months and have never taken the stairs. How do I get to them from here?

Security Guy: Huh?

Me: The stairs. How do I access them from here?

SG: What floor do you work on?

Me: The 10th.

SG: You can’t take the stairs from here. What floor do you work on?

Me: The 10th.

SG: I don’t think–

Me: I climbed them yesterday from the 10th to the 30th. I just do it for exercise.

SG: Uh, the management don’t want nobody in the stairs.

Me: I’m not actually accessing the 30th floor; I’m just exercising.

SG: Uh…

Me: Whatever

And I walk away. The management don’t want nobody in the stairs? What kind of place does that? Is it a security issue? I didn’t stick around to ask him. He was slow and fat, and probably never heard the likes of physical fitness. Screw him. I’ll continue to do the 10 – 30 bit.

UPDATE: As it turns out, we really are not supposed to be in the stairs. If I were to be caught, the powers that be might take away our card access to the stairs. I don’t want to be that guy. Damn. It seems the management does not want to be liable for an area of the building in which they do not provide security, and this building has a no-carry policy. America, you are a big pussy.